4 Things To Focus On While You're Single
4 Reasons Why Being Single Is Good For You
Written by Randi Bateman
Young adult years are weird.
You are learning who you are and what you need. You’re making new friends and outgrowing other friends. You are seeking out what you love and what may be a passion for yourself. You are trying to balance school, extracurricular activities, and so many other things. Basically, you are trying to figure it out. And that’s completely normal.
One thing that may cause confusion and frustration is relationships. Relationships are not easy and are often times hard to sustain. However, that doesn’t deflect the longing many of us have for a relationship. In this day and age, it is so easy to hop on social media and notice that every person on your feed is in relationship. This constant reminder of others being in relationships can leave us reflecting on why we are still single. What makes it worse is that your friends are meeting people and dating, leaving you feeling really single and questioning what’s wrong with you.
Before you fall into a hole evaluating what is wrong with you, consider this: maybe your season of singleness is good for you and not bad for you. Wow. That right there sounds stupid. Had someone told me this when I was hating my singleness, I would’ve rolled my eyes and continued to question what makes me unlikeable. But listen!! I’m telling you the honest truth: your season of singleness is good for you and not bad for you. I know having a boyfriend to go out with would make you overjoyed, but what if you took yourself out on a date? I also know that wanting someone to learn so much about you that they know you like the back of their hand screams intimate, but what if you got to know yourself just a bit more? See, this season of singleness is a time for you to grow deep in who you are, so that you can know what compliments you. Getting into relationships haphazardly can lead to a broken heart, damaged trust, and painful memories. All of the ache and hurt can be avoided if you decide to wait and enjoy your single season.
Another thing: don’t go looking for it. The right relationship and love will find you.
While you wait, here are some things to remember:
Time is your best friend. I know you haven’t had your first boyfriend or you’ve been single for a while and you are absolutely sick of it, but keep waiting. Take that time and be INTENTIONAL. In other words, learn more about yourself and work on yourself. Think of this season as preparation for your relationship.
Don’t allow someone else to define you. A lot of times when we are either in relationship, we take on another person’s idea of who we are. We accept the limitations of what that person thinks. That’s why being single is so important. Being single lets us bask in our uniqueness. It allows us to be free and move on our own terms. Additionally, it is important to know we aren’t.
Love God, love yourself, love others. That’s the order of love. Before you can love others, you have to learn to love yourself. Before you can love yourself, you have to love God. He created love, so you have to understand His love before loving anyone else.
The more single you are, the better your relationship will be. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. If you spend your singleness intentionally creating a foundation for who you are, what you believe, what you look for in a partner, and what you need in a relationship, you will be able to discern what is best for you. When you have a solid foundation laid down, something can be built upon it and it will be sustained. When you get into relationship without a solid foundation, things will begin to crumble and crack, and you’ll have to constantly worry about its stableness.
To the girl who is STILL waiting - the right one will find you.
To the girl who is always in relationships and they all fall apart - take time and build a solid foundation on your own. Get to know yourself more.
To the girl who is afraid of love because of past relationships - don’t let the past consume your future. You are meant to have beautiful love.
It’s okay to be single! Enjoy it!
Keep up with Randi on Instagram: @randibateman