7 Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship

7 Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship


Written by Camille Carr

Humans are social creatures and we thrive on relationships. Unfortunately, it is a fact of life that not every relationship is good for us or helps us grow. It can be difficult sometimes to determine if a relationship is toxic while you are in it, call it rose-colored glasses. Here are a few signs you should look out for when trying to determine if bae is harmful or healthy.

1. They invalidate your feelings.

Your feelings are valid because, well... you feel them. Everyone has something that bothers them or rubs them the wrong way. A partner who cares about you will be receptive to you telling them that this is an issue for you. A toxic partner will call you sensitive, make fun of you, or tell you that you are being dramatic.

2. They are inconsistent in words and actions.  

Everyone likes a good mystery, even in a person. But when you don’t know what to expect from your partner because they can never seem to hold up their end of the bargain, that is not a mystery. If one day your partner is all over you and the next they act like they want nothing to do with you for seemingly no reason, this is not okay.

3. They push your boundaries.

“No” is a complete sentence all on its own; it requires no explanation or justification. A healthy partner will understand when you say no and will try to understand why you feel the way you do. A toxic partner will ignore this boundary and keep going to see how much they can get away with, regardless of how uncomfortable you are.

4. You two constantly argue and it always seems like it could end the relationship.


This is a big one. It is natural to argue from time to time, but it should not be a regular occurrence. Also, arguments should not include threats of ending the relationship or leaving. When partners do this, they put all the responsibility on you to “save” the relationship and make it seem as if you are a failure if you do not.

5. It puts you on edge and does not feel good.  

Relationships should not be surprises. You should not be waiting for the other shoe to drop or bomb to go off. A healthy relationship is set up with expectations and boundaries in mind. It should be a place of peace and comfort. Your partner should not make you feel anxious or worried. 

6. They keep score.

If everything in your relationship is tit-for-tat, this is a major sign of toxicity. When things happen or fights arise, forgiveness should be freely given and received. Compromise and communication are the cornerstone of a healthy union.

7. You aren’t growing as a person.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel better about yourself. You should feel empowered to go after your dreams and goals. You should feel confident and proud. If you are isolating yourself from those who care about you, omitting details about the relationship when you talk to others about it out of shame, or are slipping back into bad habits, this is a sign that your partner is not helping you. They are hindering you. 

Toxic relationships are difficult to recognize and sometimes, even harder to get yourself out of. The first step is realizing what you need from this relationship for yourself. After that, you need to make sure that you are managing your own emotions and maintaining your boundaries. If communicating with your partner and drawing the line against certain behaviors does not seem to work, it may very well be time to call it quits.

It is always important to remember your worth and what you deserve. No one deserves to be made to feel like they are less than wonderful and amazing. There is no shame in putting yourself first; it is not your responsibility to fix the issues that this toxic person has. If they can not see your worth, make room in your life for someone who can.

Keep up with Camille on Twitter: @_camalexandria

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